March 2012

    1 23
4 5 678910
111213141516 17

Style Credit

  • Base style: Drifting by Jennie Griner
  • Theme: Heart of Darkness by nornoriel
  • Resources: OSWD design

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
elusive_lustre80: (Default)
Saturday, March 17th, 2012 06:05 am
Just like that, you read something that just pisses you off to no end, and it fuels you to be the better person that you're striving to be.

As I've said countless times, I'm not perfect. I'M NOT PERFECT!!!! That's just how it is. But, I've never claimed that I know more than anyone else. I've never done that.

The funny thing is when this person gave me their two cents, which was fine, but the thing that stuck with me was the "you frustrated me sometimes" part. Yeah, well....that's because you were too busy wanting my cock in your pussy to even care about anything else. Yeah, you care about be now. What the fuck happened 5 months ago that made you not care? Oh, I were bugging me like always, and I was trying to have a peaceful night at home.

You kept saying you wanted to be part of the solution. However, you became part of the problem. It's one thing to tell someone to quit there job and to head back to school. But it's another to tell that person they should just drop EVERYTHING! I mean EVERYTHING!!! This was the bullshit I had to deal with. There was not a such thing as happenstance, but you were the reason why thing went south. That was their logic!!! Not mine. Also, this person liked to point out how closed off I was when this person wouldn't give me any god damned space!


I'm tired and I really don't feel the need to write about this anymore. It's over, and it's done. Now I realize I can't trust this person anymore since all they've done since they met me is throw me under the bus. Fuck it....I'm done!!! lol
elusive_lustre80: (Default)
Tuesday, March 6th, 2012 06:12 am
I have all these elaborate things going through my head wanting to convey one simple fact. What I want so desperately, but for some reason, I just can't get it out. I've somehow lost the ability to paint the picture that I wanted to create. I lost the confidence to be who I want to be, do what I want to do. I can't help but second guess myself.

I'm so tired. I'm so worn down. I'm just so damn tired.

All these thoughts scream one thing, and these are the only words I can string together to make them make sense:

"I just want to start over."
elusive_lustre80: (Default)
Monday, March 5th, 2012 04:30 am
Keep my mouth shut....

alienate someone

say too much....

alienate someone

I can't win for losing
elusive_lustre80: (Default)
Friday, March 2nd, 2012 02:25 am
I use to scuff at the notion of suicide. I didn't understand it. I often thought it was weakness. Giving up, not just not getting the attention they need.

After all these years, I think I finally understand.

Not everyone does it for the same reasons, so I can't speak for everyone.

There comes a point where you're just tired. Tired of feeling pain. Tired of crying for no reason. Tired putting up walls, only to finally let someone in and they cut up your insides like it's no big deal. Like you don't matter. Tired of fighting to keep yourself sane when the whole world is just messed up. Tired of feeling like you have to fight, like you have to keep it together, like you have to be normal. Tired of letting your feeling control how you behave.

You're just tired.

So....I'm just tired. I'm tired of all these things. I'm tired of feeling like the way I am is a curse. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm just tired of living.
elusive_lustre80: (Love you)
Saturday, August 20th, 2011 05:26 pm
It was my birthday, and I'd been a good boy all month just like mommy wanted me to be.

"If you're good, mommy will give you a very special present" is what she said. And those words resonated with me. I couldn't wait to see what mommy was getting me. I just couldn't wait.

"Happy birthday, my sweet young man." She said. "Hmm...and I've noticed you've been exceptionally well behaved for awhile. That makes mommy happy. You like making mommy happy, don't you?"

"Yes, mommy. I love making you happy." I said.

"Very good. That's my boy. Now, get cleaned up for mommy, and I'll bring you your present when you're in your room, okay?"

"Okay, mommy." I said.

I ran towards the bathroom. Stripped off all my clothes, and hopped in the shower. I really wanted to get nice and clean for mommy. I washed behind my ears really well. I cleaned my belly button. I washed my penis and my balls really well. I turned around and let the water hit my bum as I got my fingers nice and soapy. I slid my finger into my but to make sure it was nice and clean for mommy, just in case. I made sure I was cleaned out. I didn't eat anything all day. I love keeping my but clean for mommy because I love it when she plays with my butt. It feels so good!

I dried off, put on my briefs and my T-shirt, and went to my room to wait on mommy. The anticipation was killing me, I was wondering what mommy had for me.

"Are you ready for your present, my dear boy?" I heard mommy say.

"Yes, mommy. I'm ready!"

She walked in her fishnet body suit, which I love. It makes my cock so hard seeing mommy in that. She's got such a sexy body.

In her hands, she had a box. She held it out for me to open it. When I opened the box, i couldn't believe what I saw.

"Oh..mommy! Is that for me?"

"Yes, dear. It's for you. You've been a good little boy, and mommy knows how you like having your bum played with. So...mommy is going to play with your ass and fuck you with this strap-on. You like?"

"Oh, mommy!!! I love it!"

She puts the strap-on around her and leans in to kiss me. She buries her tongue in my mouth as she plays with my nipples through my t-shirt. My little boy cock is so hard, I'm already oozing pre-cum so that my briefs are soaking wet.

She pulls my t-shirt of, and straddles me. She starts to suck on my hard nipples as I can feel the dildo of the strap-on grind against my cock.

"Mmmm...mommy, this feels so good" I moan.

"Yes....I love hearing you moan, dear. Mommy loves playing with you. You're such a good little slut for mommy."

She continues to rub the dildo against my cock. Almost like frottage. Feels so good. She takes the dildo and flicks it against my throbbing little boy pecker. My cock jumps at every touch.

Mommy slides down and licks my little boy cock. "I love the taste of you pre-cum, darling. You taste so good. Better than you no good father, that's for sure. That's why I left him and I'm with you now. My darling boy." she says as she strokes my cock looking into my eyes.

She squeezes my balls trying to milk just a little more pre-cum out of me. She uses some to lub up her finger, and slides it into my bum.

"Oooohhh...mmmmm...mommy. Feels so good. Mmmm yeah!" I moan as mommy fingers my ass while she plays with my balls.

"Yeah, going to get you ready for this cock, baby." She says. "I'm gonna lube up this cock, slid it in to that cute fuck hole of yours, and I'm going to fuck you. And I'm not going to stop fucking you until you cum, dear."

"Oh yes. Mommy! Fuck me until I come! Please!" I moan. The thought of being fucked by mommy was driving me crazy. As much as I wanted to touch my cock, I knew I shouldn't. She wouldn't play with me anymore. We had to play by her rules. She has her way with me, and I can't touch myself until she says so.

She lubes the dildo, getting it nice and slick. "Are you ready?" She asks as she teases my butthole with the tip of the dildo.

"Yes. I'm ready, mommy. Please fuck me! Please!"

"I love it when you beg, little boy. Let me hear you beg some more."

"Please fuck my ass like a slut, mommy. Please. I love being your little slut, your toy, your fuck doll, mommy. Please fuck me! Please punish my fuck hole!"

That got mommy turned on. She loved hearing stuff like this. Without hesitation she grabbed my ankles and spread my legs apart. Then, she slowly slide the dildo into my ass. I gasped as it slid in. "Hee're so tight." Mommy said playfully.

She put a little more lube on the toy, and slid in some more. Once she was all the way in and able to slid in easily, she began fucking my ass nice and deep.

"Oh fuck! Mommy! That feels soo good. Oh god! Mmmm fuck....yeah...fuck me!" I scream as mommy slides into me.

"Yeah, you like being my ass slut, darling. Yeah....mmmmm I love watching your face as I fuck you, dear. You're so gorgeous. It makes mommy's pussy so wet."

She continues to fuck me on my back. Then she slides out and tells me to get on my knees. I turn over and pop my ass in the air. Mommy puts some more lube on my ass and on the toy, and slides back into me. When she's in, she spanks my ass and squeezes my ass. I can literally feel the pre-cum just gushing out of me at this point.

"Mmm mommy...oh...fuck..." I can barely talk while mommy gets into now. She's ramming my ass at full blast. She pulls my hair as she pounds my ass, gaping me. My cock is extremely hard at this point. And all I can do is moan loudly as I'm on the edge.

"Oh mmmm....I'm......mmmmmm...cum....mommmmm.....mmmm...nnnnffff..."

" gonna cum for mommy? Yeah...?"

"mmmm yessss....mmmmmm.....gonna.....cum....mmmmmm"

Mommy is really into it now. She's drilling me like crazy. Spanking my ass as she pounds me. I begin to tense up as I feel I'm about to explode. My eyes roll to the back of my head, and I bury my head in my pillow as I convulse about, cumming extremely hard. Mommy collapses on my back. I feel the fabric of her body suit against my bare skin and it feel so good. She kisses the nape of my neck, and plays with my hair. I'm still laying on my stomach, a fucked out little boy. I can feel mommy's chin on my back as she runs her hands through my hair. Then traces her fingers up and down my arm as she lightly touches me.

"You're so good to mommy, dear. So good for your mommy. This is why mommy loves you so much, dear. You do whatever mommy wants and never question it. My darling little boy...mommy loves you so much."

"I love you too, mommy."